It is admittedly a narrow canal, and not the only narrow one in the city. But places to keep your boat are almost impossible to find, so one has to Make Do. But that doesn’t always Make Happy.
If you are close enough to read this, then this person may well be talking to you.
“Pay attention when you’re maneuvering / The executioners of your dead relatives / There is always damage to repair / at my expense.”
Let me explain about the executioner. “Boia,” depending somewhat on intonation, is one of the baddest of the bad words you can use in relation to people, things, phenomena, events, microbes, anything. To invoke the boia in any expression kicks it up numerous notches. Do not use it unless you mean it.
To draw a person’s deceased relatives into the situation is also an expert level insult. Putting them together means that this person is beside himself. Of course, you yourself can’t be offended by this because you are innocent. You have never damaged his boat when trying to squeeze past in your boat, you have never even gone down that canal. And if you did, as they say here, you were sleeping.
Seen from this angle, the canal does not, to my eye, appear to present any particular challenge to most passing boats. I see that the boat ahead of him still carries a fender that died nobly in service to its master, and you don’t hear him complaining.Seen from this perspective, though, the boat is clearly in a risky position with regard to the 90-degree angle just behind it to the left. A boat turning that corner, entering or exiting, would have to really care about not scraping the boat on the right. If you don’t pay attention the tide will play tricks on you here, whether it’s rising or falling, and your motor won’t do much to save you from contact unless you are already prepared for the tricks. Most people with motorboats don’t even know what the tide is anymore. They may have read it about it once, riffling through Moby-Dick. So our exasperated boat-owner has been reduced to irritable fist-shaking. In his situation, I myself might have considered finding some more effective protection than those three little impotent fenders, but why fix a problem if you can just rant about it.Speaking of narrow canals, this one isn’t much narrower than the one above, but it doesn’t have any insidious corners. Boats on both sides give the sensation of having to slalom past them, though obviously if you go slowly all you have to do is maintain a straight line. Too bad you have to slice through all those clotheslines and laundry on the way…. Notice that there is a wide difference of opinion among the boat-owners concerning the fenders, need for or usefulness of. The quaint little fronds of twisted rope are adorable. I wonder if they were ever effective.In this case, the two boat-owners have hit upon the perfect method for protecting their boats from damage. Just make it impossible for anybody to get through. I have checked with my resident navigator/expert and he confirms that there is no secret way to slither through here. This canal is now blocked. I don’t think this situation would have lasted long, though. One or both of these bright sparks is clearly parking illegally, and it wouldn’t have taken long for someone who really needed to pass to have resolved the problem by calling the vigili. This isn’t annoying, this is ridiculous.
Gorgeous photographs assembled to tell a funny yet practical story. The inscription on the first bumper reminds me of a sign I once saw on a pickup truck. Revised and translated, it might be serviceable in your neighborhood: “Wonder if there is an afterlife? Touch my truck and find out.”
Hi Erla, it is a joy to hear your eloquent descriptions of Venice. Great illustrative photos!!
Threatening one’s dead relatives take the power of the F word to a new level.
How talented you are at translating!!
Please keep these charming stories coming.
Of course both of those two will have been the first to moor and therefore completely innocent…. What beats me is how on earth they then got to dry land. Up the drainpipe?
I have never thought of this problem before at least in the context of being a Venetian boat owner. Your photographs and commentary help clartify the matter. When it comes to boat manoeuvres and the available space in which to put them to effect, I suspect that many owners are too focussed on getting where they want as quickly as possible. The last photograph shows a ridiculously unthought-through situation which reveals selfishness or complete lack of thought,
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These photos, and your words, make all the more ‘sense’ having just visited Venice.
Gorgeous photographs assembled to tell a funny yet practical story. The inscription on the first bumper reminds me of a sign I once saw on a pickup truck. Revised and translated, it might be serviceable in your neighborhood: “Wonder if there is an afterlife? Touch my truck and find out.”
You always find the most unusual and interesting tid-bits of Venetian life.
We are most grateful to you!
Hi Erla, it is a joy to hear your eloquent descriptions of Venice. Great illustrative photos!!
Threatening one’s dead relatives take the power of the F word to a new level.
How talented you are at translating!!
Please keep these charming stories coming.
Love, Your Pal
Of course both of those two will have been the first to moor and therefore completely innocent…. What beats me is how on earth they then got to dry land. Up the drainpipe?
This is a great article, so engaging!
I have never thought of this problem before at least in the context of being a Venetian boat owner. Your photographs and commentary help clartify the matter. When it comes to boat manoeuvres and the available space in which to put them to effect, I suspect that many owners are too focussed on getting where they want as quickly as possible. The last photograph shows a ridiculously unthought-through situation which reveals selfishness or complete lack of thought,