A few days ago, this extraordinary assemblage appeared on via Garibaldi. The sign explained it: “No to violence to women.” I didn’t know that in the year 2000 the United Nations had declared November 25 to be the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, arguably the most pervasive human rights violation on earth.
The sign was fine by itself, but bringing a mascareta ashore was a lovely gesture by the Remiera Casteo. It is a classic Venetian boat most commonly rowed by women (and created centuries ago, some sources say, specifically for women during Carnival).The red shoes strewn about — not to be confused with the fairy tale or ballet of the same name — became a symbol of this issue in the hands of Mexican artist Elina Chauvet in 2009, when she staged her first art installation of red shoes representing the bloodshed women face in Mexico because of femicide, domestic and sexualized violence. Her installations have inspired activists around the world to wear red shoes to replicate her protests in their own cities and countries, and to share photographs of their red shoes. Not to be confused with Dorothy’s ruby slippers.“Un Filo che Unisce” (‘A Thread That Unites’) says no to the violence against women.” This women’s association, founded in Trivento (region of Molise), devotes its energies to crocheting; the results are used to promote programs on issues of social importance. Charming, ingenious, gratifying, whatever you want to call it. For me, this creation is beyond amazing.Each flower, and other components, is a marvel of crocheting, not to mention the skill required in putting them all together.Even the hearts have been crocheted, the cats’cradle making it all even more symbolic. These women are unstoppable.
Let me say, before the comments begin to come in, that I am aware that men also suffer from domestic and other forms of violence. I know this. But I don’t want to start some ghastly competition between who is more tormented. Verbal, emotional, physical abuse damages everyone — victim, perpetrator, children who have to witness it. Fun fact: One in three women in the world suffers from some form of violence. November 25 is at least one day in which to acknowledge the violence inflicted on them: grown women, little girls, old ladies, at the hands of men, but also of other women, of their own children, and even whole families who agree to whatever atrocity they consider appropriate.
Revolution, an ad agency based in Macapá, Brazil, created the Star Models Sexual Violence ad campaign in 2014. (Photography by Diego Freire.) There were more images, but this is enough for now.
And then there’s this: Just a few weeks ago, 50 year-old Cosimo Damiano Bologna was having a coffee with a lady friend at a cafe’ in the little town of Canosa di Puglia. She had been stalked for an undisclosed amount of time by a man who suddenly appeared, and began to insult and otherwise assault her verbally. Cosimo intervened in her defense, the aggressor aggressed, and literally beat him to death. Not immediately; it took Cosimo two weeks to die.
So not only is there bride burning, dowry death, honor killing, widow cleansing, acid attack, and let’s not forget breast ironing, to name a few dreadful things at random, now we have women getting hurt by men, and men getting hurt for defending women from men.
I am not saying every woman is perfect. I’m just saying that if you wouldn’t do it to a dog, don’t do it to a woman. And if you would do it to a dog, still don’t do it to a woman. Let’s make this the International Century for the Elimination of Violence against Women. It’s really going to be better for everybody.
“It’s Time You Spoke” was an ad campaign for the City of Hope women’s shelter, New York City. Violence against women fuels global crises such as drug and alcohol abuse, suicide, infant mortality, and poverty.When I took this photograph I thought they looked happy. Now I’m beginning to realize you can’t know anything about people by just looking at them, no matter how much gelato they may be eating.Girls don’t have to be beautiful to be wonderful.
Being beautiful is wonderful too, or at least it seems so to most of us. But as I said, what can I really know about this unearthly being except that somebody spent an ungodly amount of time braiding her hair, and that she was fine with it?
Venetian women who are racing take no prisoners.“Signora del Vento,” a three-masted brigantine built in 1962, is the second largest Italian tall ship after “Amerigo Vespucci.” Her figurehead, created by artists Birgit and Claus Hartmann, appears to be permanently waiting to launch the dove of peace. I’d say any time from now on would be ideal. Especially for women.
Another wonderful — and very heartfelt — essay. I’m so lucky to have
shared some office space with you, in the way, way, way back. Quando
ero giovene — quasi.
You’re absolutely right to talk about violence to women. I’ve long theorized
that men realize women are superior, and so must lash out from insecurity.
But just because I want to, I’m deciding that the gelato-eating mother and
daughter are, in fact, happy.
I also used to think men realized women are superior, hence violence (I’ve also hypothesized problems of sexual insecurity, and/or problems in accepting their mother’s authority, or accepting their mother’s helplessness, or even their own, in the face of violence, and etc. etc.). But what little more I have discovered leads me to conclude it’s not only, or even primarily, their fear/hatred of women, but fear/hatred of weakness. This is why men (and women too) also attack and torture little boys. Women are inherently perceived as weak, and it’s the victim’s weakness or helplessness that unleashes the demons. It’s not uncommon for abusers to have grown up in abusive households; their hatred of their own childhood fear and helplessness also draws them to lash out. It’s normal for boys to want to emulate their fathers, to one degree or another, but if this is the only model they have grown up with, they’re trapped in this spiral of rage. These are deep waters, Watson. Here are twelve videos against domestic violence — notice that they come from all over the world: Lebanon, Singapore, UAE, France, Serbia…. I hope this comes through…November 25: Red Shoe Day If not, here’s https://art-sheep.com/12-of-the-most-powerful-and-brutal-domestic-violence-awareness-campaigns/
All that you said needs to be said over and over to each generation. Women and men need to educate their sons and daughter to recognition what is GIVING abuse and what is ACCEPTING abuse!
Thank you for the beautiful images accompanying the narrative😊
What i see is both sexes have lost the idea of civility. Men should use their strong arms to protect women
Not assault them .
women should use their tongue’s to praise their men not use them like butchers knifes .
It seems to be the human condition that never changes .
Having been “unavailable” because of illness since the end of October, I’ve a lot of catching up to do, and found this a very deeply disturbing theme that has made me really realise how very fortunate I have always been in my relationships -father, and husband especially.
It’s so sad that it’s not so for many other women. But women can have their faults too, and I suspect that our “me, me” society doesn’t help anyone very much towards good relationships.
Never heard of the “red shoes” image – but I’ll click my heels, and at least my mind will zoom back to Venice, if not my body, at present!
Thank you very much for your always informative posts.
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been ill but glad that it appears you’ve recovered. May I just say that nobody could deny that women have faults. But punching, kicking, burning, and occasionally breaking bones or rupturing organs is not what we’d regard as an appropriate response to a person, no matter how annoying they may be. And I wouldn’t blame the “me me” society, considering that violence against women is ongoing in every country and at every level of society, from the rich and educated to the poorest and most disadvantaged. If we start looking for reasons, we generally need to look at anything that can cause a person to suffer unbearable stress, fear, danger, shame, rage, and very often abusive parents or relatives who started the ball rolling by modeling this behavior. As one poster put it, “Instead of teaching women how to defend themselves against violence, we need to teach men not to inflict it.”
Oh, yes, but somehow our entire society seems so very muddled, and it is as if we can all only see our own way as being THE way, and I suppose that’s how those inadequate men see it.
It’s so sad that so many people find themselves trapped in terrible relationships, and, as you mention, growing up as a child within such relationships means so often that those children too carry on behaving in a similar way, as well as the very disturbing and dramatic storylines that feature in so many dramas, soaps and films, and so it goes on down the generations. I was reading this morning about the exposure to youngsters by age ten of pornography, often very violent, via mobile ‘phones, often first encountered almost accidentally. That too is frightening.
(Thanks for the good wishes, not recovered, but let’s not go there. Long story, long job)
As I’ve pointed out in a previous post , their is much blame to go around ,
Civility is being lost in our couture today . Just this morning I can hear my neighbors wife
Screaming at her Husband [ really ] . How about the idea of respecting each other a
Little more ? And when you toss into the mix the iron fist of government you have many
Men AND Women in prison for making a stupid mistake . Here in California it costs about
85,000 dollars to incarcerate per year, imagine that .
It just goes on and on and on ……………….
19 Comments
Another wonderful — and very heartfelt — essay. I’m so lucky to have
shared some office space with you, in the way, way, way back. Quando
ero giovene — quasi.
You’re absolutely right to talk about violence to women. I’ve long theorized
that men realize women are superior, and so must lash out from insecurity.
But just because I want to, I’m deciding that the gelato-eating mother and
daughter are, in fact, happy.
I also used to think men realized women are superior, hence violence (I’ve also hypothesized problems of sexual insecurity, and/or problems in accepting their mother’s authority, or accepting their mother’s helplessness, or even their own, in the face of violence, and etc. etc.). But what little more I have discovered leads me to conclude it’s not only, or even primarily, their fear/hatred of women, but fear/hatred of weakness. This is why men (and women too) also attack and torture little boys. Women are inherently perceived as weak, and it’s the victim’s weakness or helplessness that unleashes the demons. It’s not uncommon for abusers to have grown up in abusive households; their hatred of their own childhood fear and helplessness also draws them to lash out. It’s normal for boys to want to emulate their fathers, to one degree or another, but if this is the only model they have grown up with, they’re trapped in this spiral of rage. These are deep waters, Watson. Here are twelve videos against domestic violence — notice that they come from all over the world: Lebanon, Singapore, UAE, France, Serbia…. I hope this comes through…November 25: Red Shoe Day If not, here’s https://art-sheep.com/12-of-the-most-powerful-and-brutal-domestic-violence-awareness-campaigns/
As I said: It’s around the world. http://www.inspirewetrust.com/en/2015/11/11/violenza-sulle-donne/
Brilliant, maddening, heartbreaking. Thank you for shining light in these dark places, dear Erla.
Excellent, Erla, well done, thank you!
Thank you Erla. for this, unfortunately, necessary piece. May we learn.
I’m new to the red shoes – a very potent symbol, thank you for that.
Remember what Sophicles said, ‘If women ever become equal, they would be superior.’ I’m glad I’m a woman.
I also remember how Sophocles ended up. Evidently in 2021 he would still be ahead of his time.
Thank you so much for this posting! I have missed reading your words and feeling your heart.
Well done! Effective, efficient and spot on.
I would hope no one reading this post has been a victim but, I doubt that would be true.
All that you said needs to be said over and over to each generation. Women and men need to educate their sons and daughter to recognition what is GIVING abuse and what is ACCEPTING abuse!
Thank you for the beautiful images accompanying the narrative😊
So beautifully written. Thank you
Thank you for posting about Red Shoe Day, Nov 25. It is a sobering reminder of how far we need to go and how strong women are when we are united.
What i see is both sexes have lost the idea of civility. Men should use their strong arms to protect women
Not assault them .
women should use their tongue’s to praise their men not use them like butchers knifes .
It seems to be the human condition that never changes .
Having been “unavailable” because of illness since the end of October, I’ve a lot of catching up to do, and found this a very deeply disturbing theme that has made me really realise how very fortunate I have always been in my relationships -father, and husband especially.
It’s so sad that it’s not so for many other women. But women can have their faults too, and I suspect that our “me, me” society doesn’t help anyone very much towards good relationships.
Never heard of the “red shoes” image – but I’ll click my heels, and at least my mind will zoom back to Venice, if not my body, at present!
Thank you very much for your always informative posts.
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been ill but glad that it appears you’ve recovered. May I just say that nobody could deny that women have faults. But punching, kicking, burning, and occasionally breaking bones or rupturing organs is not what we’d regard as an appropriate response to a person, no matter how annoying they may be. And I wouldn’t blame the “me me” society, considering that violence against women is ongoing in every country and at every level of society, from the rich and educated to the poorest and most disadvantaged. If we start looking for reasons, we generally need to look at anything that can cause a person to suffer unbearable stress, fear, danger, shame, rage, and very often abusive parents or relatives who started the ball rolling by modeling this behavior. As one poster put it, “Instead of teaching women how to defend themselves against violence, we need to teach men not to inflict it.”
Oh, yes, but somehow our entire society seems so very muddled, and it is as if we can all only see our own way as being THE way, and I suppose that’s how those inadequate men see it.
It’s so sad that so many people find themselves trapped in terrible relationships, and, as you mention, growing up as a child within such relationships means so often that those children too carry on behaving in a similar way, as well as the very disturbing and dramatic storylines that feature in so many dramas, soaps and films, and so it goes on down the generations. I was reading this morning about the exposure to youngsters by age ten of pornography, often very violent, via mobile ‘phones, often first encountered almost accidentally. That too is frightening.
(Thanks for the good wishes, not recovered, but let’s not go there. Long story, long job)
Behind you 100%!
As I’ve pointed out in a previous post , their is much blame to go around ,
Civility is being lost in our couture today . Just this morning I can hear my neighbors wife
Screaming at her Husband [ really ] . How about the idea of respecting each other a
Little more ? And when you toss into the mix the iron fist of government you have many
Men AND Women in prison for making a stupid mistake . Here in California it costs about
85,000 dollars to incarcerate per year, imagine that .
It just goes on and on and on ……………….