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Carnival: I just met 12 girls named Maria

One of a couple of events which the organizers of Carnival  have  revived after rummaging around in  Venetian history is a beauty pageant which is based on one of the more dramatic exploits in the city’s entire life story.   And a beauty pageant.

It is called the festa delle Marie (ma-REE-eh), which is plural for Maria.   There were 12, actually or temporarily named Maria, and what happened to them was not only an exciting demonstration of the fledgling republic’s developing power, but a great way to add a party to the calendar.

The long parade from San Pietro di Castello to San Marco is composed largely of history re-enactors from all over Italy.
The long parade from San Pietro di Castello to San Marco is composed largely of history re-enactors from all over Italy.

The story begins around the year 943, though documented accounts date from 1039.   Some details remain open to scholarly  debate, but the outline of the episode goes like this:

On the annual feast of the Madonna Candelora (February 2, also known as the feast of the Purification of the Blessed Virgin Mary), Venetians not only went to mass, they also organized an entertainment disguised as an act of municipal and Christian charity.   Or vice versa.   In any case, they were very good at this, I want to say without sarcasm —  a skill that  civic leaders today might consider acquiring.

Taking the established custom of blessing girls who were newlyweds on February 2,  somebody thought it would be wonderful to choose 12 poor girls  and include them in the event.  

The Marias line up, waiting to board their wooden platform (one is leaning against the wall in the background) borne by four hardy young men.
The Marias line up, waiting to board their wooden platform (one is leaning against the wall in the background) borne by four hardy young men.

These twelve damsels had to be poor (otherwise the charitable part of the operation would be meaningless), obviously had to be engaged,  and of course they had to be divinely  beautiful — or at least more beautiful than  any other poor engaged girl in their district.    

The  patrician families in their respective districts took up a collection to provide them with dowries; the doge  lent them  masses of jewelry of gold and precious stones from the state treasury, and  they went in a procession of boats to the church of San Pietro di Castello, where they were blessed by the bishop in a sumptuous ceremony  in the presence of the doge himself and all the noble families  (on February 2, obviously).  

The girls then resumed their procession, going  to the Doge’s Palace (which it’s entirely possible they had never even seen; until recently, life here was  generally limited to your own little neighborhood), where they were the centerpiece of a magnificent reception.   Then everyone climbed aboard the Bucintoro, the doge’s ceremonial barge (in those early days it did not resemble the elaborate final version  made famous in paintings by Canaletto, but still — the doge’s barge)  and, followed by innumerable boats, went up the Grand Canal to the Rialto, then down the canal of the Fondaco dei Tedeschi to  Santa Maria Formosa, where more solemn ceremonies awaited them in the church.  

She's up, and she's off. The Marias commence their stately procession; the men commence to ask themselves why they said yes.
She's up, and she's off. The Marias commence their stately procession; the men commence to ask themselves why they said yes.

Things  had gone along like this  to general rejoicing until the year 943, when a crew of pirates — led by a certain Gaiolo, an Istrian pirate notorious for stealing Venetians  and making slaves of them — burst into the church with his trusty marauders  and made off with the girls.   The  Marias may have had a certain commercial value, but their jewelry must have been utterly amazing.

The doge  — Pietro Candiani III — hastily organized a  band of hardy men (I am not making this up) and they went racing off in hot pursuit, doge included.   They caught up with the pirates near Caorle, slew them to a man, and carried home the brides (and their jewelry) in triumph.

If there had been a festa before, from this point it became ever more elaborate; not only to celebrate the 12 girls (as before), but now to commemorate the daring rescue of the 12 girls.   Each February 2 the chosen girls were temporarily re-baptized with the name Maria, they were invited to all sorts of parties and receptions and balls and even mass in the major churches of the city.   Venetians considered it good luck merely to be able to get near them.   All this went on for nine days.

IMG_5871 marie compBut it’s hard to keep anything up at that level of organization, cost, enthusiasm — whatever it is that makes festivals work.   By 1272 the 12 girls had been cut back to four, then to three,  because the cost had become annoying to the state as well as the noble families who were funding the event.   There was also a big and expensive war going on with Genoa, the War of Chioggia.   Can’t do everything.   Can’t pay for everything, either.

At that point  somebody conveniently decided that it was wrong for people to have  become fixated on this festival  as a great  way to ogle some beautiful babes when they should have been  focusing on the religious aspect of the day.  

So they eliminated the girls altogether and substituted figures made of wood — specifically, large slabs of wood cut out along the silhouette of a beautiful poor girl.   Think paper dolls.  

People hated it, and threw stones and vegetables at the wooden Marias when they  passed.   So the government passed a law, in 1349, forbidding the throwing of stones and vegetables at the wooden Marias.   But the festa was obviously destined to die, and in 1379 it was suppressed altogether.    

I'm not saying our girls today are more beautiful than the originals, but I know they have better teeth.
I'm not saying our girls today are more beautiful than the originals, but I know they have better teeth.

But not everywhere.   The reviled wooden stand-ins, called “Marione de tola” in Venetian (big Marys made of planks), were taken up by the French in reduced form, and before you can say zut alors, they had become known as Marionets or petits Marions, and then marionette.

Now it’s Venice, February 7, 2010, and the Marias are back.   For the past few years, part of the opening festivities of Carnival has been the Festa delle Marie, a procession of costumed re-enactors accompanying 12 beautiful girls which wends on foot from San Pietro di Castello to San Marco.   The girls  are chosen by a jury from many, many applications, and I doubt that  they have  to be either poor or engaged anymore.   But they do need to be beautiful.  

For a few years, back in the Nineties (I seem to recall 1996), there was another element: the  Regata delle Marie.   Rowing races were historically part of any important Venetian festivity, and this one was intended for pairs of women rowing mascaretas.   The idea was that both women (or girls) had to be amateurs, rowers who had never participated in the official city races.  

IMG_5879 marie compI joined in either the first or second edition, with an Argentinian girl named Magdalena.   We were all nobodies; it was great.   The starting line was just on the other side of the church of San Pietro, in the Canale delle Navi.   We raced along somewhere toward Sant’ Erasmo — I wasn’t paying too much attention to the landmarks, especially after the purple boat veered across our bow and we kind of ran into it.  

But we disentangled ourselves and  rowed like Istrian  pirates being pursued by an angry doge, and back up into the  rio di Quintavalle to the finish line in front of the church.   After all that, we actually came in fourth, which meant we won a pennant, which is all that matters.   I also remember that  experience  because the  second we crossed the finish line, Magdalena said, “I’m never racing again.”   I never asked her why.

The race did well enough  for a couple of years, then people began bending the rules into all kinds of weird shapes till the participants were basically the same people on the official roster.   So the race, like the original festival, fizzled out, at least as part of Carnival.   It’s now held in June, in honor of San Pietro.   Nice thought, but nothing to do with pirates and doges.

IMG_5881 marie compBut back to Carnival.   The procession of happy, heavily costumed  Marias is fun, at least when the sun is shining.   Where else can you  dress up  and be carried for a mile on a wooden platform by  gondoliers while thousands of people take your picture?  

And it’s fun for the onlookers too, because — some things never change — they get to look at beautiful girls in fancy clothes.

 

IMG_5877 marie comp

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Carnival, the first stage

I’m not a big fan of Carnival in Venice.    The only bigness I can evince where this annual demolition derby is concerned is a jumbo-size package of the old Aristotelian pity and terror.

Last year there was a sort of dancing metal raptor to give the crowd at the Piazza San Marco some sensation of movement.
Last year there was a sort of dancing metal raptor to give the crowd at the Piazza San Marco some sensation of movement.

That’s not completely true: I don’t feel pity.

But this year I decided to take a different approach.   When Carnival erupted last Sunday (after several premonitory tremors) I thought I’d imagine it was something that could be fun, amusing, diverting, worth the trip.   Not for me — I’ve figured out how to make it fun for me but it doesn’t involve costumes or the Piazza San Marco — but  just going with the idea that  it could be entertaining for the thousands upon thousands of people who come to Venice expecting to enjoy themselves, at least, if not enjoy everybody else.  

By which I mean, enjoy being squashed like a grape in a winepress by your fellow humans.

So far, it’s working.   I had a fine time on Sunday afternoon.   But that’s because I made a point of not going to the Piazza San Marco.   The Gazzettino reported that some 90,000 people were there.   They certainly didn’t need me, even if there had been room.

The first years I was here I did go, at least a few times, to the Piazza San Marco, the gravitational center of the festivities.   It was all so new and strange, and memory reports that there weren’t   quite so many thousands.   Memory may be lying but it was fine anyway.   Perhaps the novelty of the situation carried me over the crush, as it may well do to people today.

I dress up, I walk around, I pose, therefore I am.  It doesn't exactly cry out "whirl of gaiety."
I dress up, I walk around, I pose, therefore I am. It doesn't exactly cry out "whirl of gaiety."

Then there was a hiatus, partly because I didn’t enjoy the winepress experience and also because what was going on there seemed strangely unfestive: Loads of people in  costume (95 percent of which seemed  to be identical),  walking around just looking at each other, striking attitudes, or taking pictures of each other with or without tourists posing next to them.   The nadir  is occupied by  the people in costume who charge money for allowing themselves to be photographed with your cousin or your kid.   And they can make a bundle.  

Another exciting moment.
Another exciting moment.
The details are sometimes lovelier than the whole costume.
The details are sometimes lovelier than the whole costume.
Dressing up as an ancient monument deserves a tip of the hat, or whatever she's got on her head.
Dressing up as an ancient monument deserves a tip of the hat, or whatever she's got on her head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then we came to Castello and I discovered something of the way Carnival was, decades ago, before the event was trampled by the tourism behemoth.   Kids and families and dogs, and relatively few tourists.   And did I mention the kids?

A princess, a fairy with gauzy green wings, and an animal I still haven't identified.  This is more like it.
A princess, a fairy with gauzy green wings, and an animal I still haven't identified. This is more like it.

 

Put an aristocrat behind the wheel and just get out of the way.
Put an aristocrat behind the wheel and just get out of the way.

 

 Perhaps I’m going senile, or perhaps it’s because the confetti-throwing and occasional Silly String-spraying and strolling around have no evident commercial focus, but I think  the downtown version of Carnival beats San Marco in straight sets.    Here, if you see somebody taking a picture of a person in costume, it’s almost certainly a besotted relative.

Still trying to get the hang of how to make it spray.
Still trying to get the hang of how to make it spray.

   

 

 

 

 

Still trying to get the hang of how to make it spray.
A costume, a large bag of confetti, and a parental equerry to carry it for you as you perfect your bestrewing technique. He's having more fun than ten photographers.
Dressing your kid as a skunk (probably Bambi's friend Flower) doesn't seem like a compliment, but when he's this cute it probably doesn't matter what you put him in.
Dressing your kid as a skunk (probably Bambi's friend Flower) doesn't seem like a compliment, but when he's this cute it probably doesn't matter what you put him in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just a little bit of face paint, artfully applied by one of the many artful appliers in and around San Marco. But it's enough.
Just a little bit of face paint, artfully applied by one of the many artful appliers in and around San Marco. But it's enough.

 

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If you start to look around, you begin to notice how little it really takes to dress up and play Carnival.   There were people who were looking great with only a hat, or  a wig, or  a moustache or whiskers scribbled on with a black marker– even  the simplest mask imaginable just barely covering the eyes.   No plumes, no sequins, no layers of painted papier-mache.   It really works.

 

Or just a mask, and never mind the fancy garb. This is a version of the classic mask of a Zanni, the clever and/or foolish servant in comedies of the Commedia dell'Arte.
Or just a mask, and never mind the fancy garb. This is a version of the classic mask of a Zanni, the clever and/or foolish servant in comedies of the Commedia dell'Arte.

The first Sunday of Carnival (February 7 this year) was Opening Day, one of the maximum moments, as you can imagine.   The others are Fat Thursday (Giovedi’ Grasso), and Fat Tuesday (Martedi’ Grasso).   And the weekend between them.   If the weather is beautiful — as it was on Sunday — it can feel like a party even if you don’t do anything special.   If it’s really cold, overcast, windy or rainy, obviously the merriment becomes shredded and forced.   This isn’t Rio.

Next chapter: I’ll be tossing out  a few festive fistfuls of   history, gathered from a large bag of brightly-colored bits of trivia.  

Here’s a sample.   “Confetti” here refers to the sugared almonds which are given to wedding guests.   What speakers of English (and French, German, Spanish, Swedish and Dutch) call  confetti    — brightly-colored bits of paper — here are called coriandoli   (ko-ree-AN-dolee).     Why?  

Because back in the Olden Days, Carnival revelers would toss all sorts of things around or at or on each other — eggs full of rosewater was one hugely amusing toy to everybody except the women who were on the receiving end.   People would also toss various tiny  edibles, particularly coriander seeds, which were used in pastries.   Then they became  bits of sugar pretending to be coriander seeds.   Only much later — in 1875 — did flakes of paper begin to be used instead, which is an entirely different story.   People who  had always called  the flying fragments of food “coriandoli” merely transferred to term to the newer-fangled form.

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decoding the fresco

Generations have made their fortunes, to one degree or another, promoting Venice as a city of mystery, secrets, enigmas.  What amazes me, though, is how many discoveries one can make by just looking around.  It’s not as if you have to go looking for secrets — there are plenty of extraordinary things sitting right out there in the open, in front of everybody, but that go unnoticed for ages.

I have walked with Venetians, on our way to do something, who have suddenly stopped, looked up at/around/behind/next to some normal thing (a bridge, a window, a door) at something strange or beautiful and said, “I never saw that before.”

So here is something I saw because I looked up.  Was it a secret?  Only from me until that afternoon.

And the date is the same when read upside down or downside up.  A new sort of palindrome?  A mystic code opening to another dimension?  Somebody’s PIN number?

This fresco isn’t far from San Marco at the intersection of the Rio Tera’ de le Colone and Calle dei Fabbri.  Here is a map to clarify.

The garish aqua-tinted circle marks the position of this now-no-longer surprise.

Looking up as I walked west along the columned walkway …

This is the view along the Rio Tera’ de le Colone, for anyone in charge of navigating.

I came upon this, as previously noted:

The passageway was temporarily blocked, as you see, but that’s not important.  Just look up.
The edited street sign is a relic of a brief but intense period when the populace revolted against the “Italianizing” of the local street names; they had always been in the Venetian language, but an official urban improver in the city administration thought Italian would be better. For a while nocturnal vigilantes took a hand in correcting this cultural vandalism, but don’t let this deviation from the name printed on your map disturb you.

Back to the fresco at hand.  My first theory was wrong, of course, but I wasn’t alone in supposing the dice in this design to be a mystic reminder of what may have been a gambling establishment back in 1691.  There were plenty of them, but people probably didn’t need signs to show them where to go, mainly because gambling was mostly illegal.

Rummaging through the internet I found that several people had also found it reasonable to suppose that gambling inspired this curious fresco.  But then I was even more surprised to discover a much simpler explanation.  No need to go any further back than the 1980s and a particularly whimsical artist named Dorino Cioffi  (born 1932 in Este, Veneto region), now living and working in Venice.

I could go find him and ask him about all this, and I’m not saying I won’t, but I wanted to get this little tale out into the ether.  Whatever his motivations might have been, and however he may have managed to get permission to paint on a public space (“No worries, it’ll be down by Wednesday”), he created this diverting little image.  Fooling people is so much fun.  Carnival comes to mind.

Starting at the top is a streetlight (feral, in Venetian, pronounced fehr-AHL), sitting atop a cooking pot (pignata, in Venetian), behind three dice (dai, in Venetian).  This is important to the story, so read on.

For reasons as yet, if ever, to be discovered, the artist devised this image to refer to the three bridges nearest to the location of the fresco.  I don’t know why that spot was chosen, though if you’ve decided you want to paint on an outdoor ceiling, your options are already limited.

The aqua circle is the fresco; the yellow circle to the right is the Ponte dei Ferali, and the red on the upper left is the Ponte de le Pignate.
The Ponte dei Dai connects to the Piazza San Marco, as you see.
The Ponte de le Pignate, walking toward the Rialto bridge.

Heading toward the Ponte dei Dai.
The Sotoportego dei Dai, with the bridge just coming up.
Having just crossed the bridge, I look toward the Piazza San Marco.  This bridge, like so much of Venice, has been patched and repaired to a Frankensteinian degree.  The long strip of lighter-colored material stretching along the right side is undoubtedly the scar left when it was necessary to open that part of the bridge to get at whatever pipe is installed beneath it.  Water pipes, cables, or any other tubes that may need repairing and replacing are reached by incisions made in the bridge as needed and then closed up with varying degrees of finesse.  I have seen bridges that are held together after numerous dissections by various materials from asphalt patches to leftover concrete.  In some cases the only things they haven’t used to put a bridge back together are safety pins, duct tape, chewing gum, and a few staples.
This is what bridges look like under the paving stones. Stripping this bridge to its very innards was a drastic move indeed — usually they just remove the bare minimum to resolve whatever little problem may have been bubbling under the surface.  I’m guessing it wasn’t the innards that were the problem, but the bridge itself.

The names of the bridges, like the streets, referred to something that was made, or sold, or both, on or near that bridge.  As far back as the 1200’s the feraleri, or makers of streetlights (ferali), had set up their shops on nearby streets, as well as on the bridge itself (do not ask me how that worked).  The same explanation applies to the pignate (cooking pots).

As for the dai (the original name was dadi, or dice), they were not so much produced as simply sold near their eponymous bridge.  This is amusing, considering that gambling with dice was forbidden.  You and your friends might call a place the “bridge of crack cocaine” if that’s what makes sense to you, but painting the name on an official street sign would be strange.  I think we can agree on that?

You may be awaiting more information on the pots and the dice, which I suppose there is, but the streetlights turn out to be far more interesting than the other two items put together.  (Do not recommend.)  As I leave the eccentric fresco behind, though, I can say that without it I almost certainly wouldn’t have given a thought to the lamps.

My next post will be shedding plenty of light on the subject.

This is the Ponte dei Ferali, looking east toward the church of San Zulian.
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natural functions

We know these little horrors all too well, from sports events to any other mass gathering.  Temporary “porta-potties” are absolutely great when you’re desperate and there is nothing else.  That’s about the only great thing about them.  Here large numbers of the typical “chemical toilets” are being unloaded a few steps beyond the finish line of the annual Venice Marathon.  They are there for the obvious needs of thousands of runners just minutes after they arrive.  And yet, there are none conveniently placed for the spectators.  That seems wrong to me, now that I think about it.
But then again, useful as they are, it would deface the landscape to have them around all the time.
What if there were a public toilet permanently available? One that wasn’t a pungent plastic box?  I wasn’t asking myself that question when I was crossing the canal in front of the Arsenal a few weeks ago, but then I saw this kiosk beside the Naval Museum.  What ho, I thought.  Do I see the letters WC?
I do indeed, and the red hints that it is being used.   The experimental loo arrived on February 10, in the throes of Carnival, and installed most conveniently on the fondamenta along which many spectators heading to the show at the Arsenal were bound to be walking.  That extra spritz or beer?  Normally you would have had to plan ahead to deal with the result, because there are very few bars along the way (maybe you don’t know this yet, dear visitor, but you might soon).  This seems very civilized.  The kiosk will be here for two weeks, or till Feb. 24.  Or perhaps Feb. 29.  In any case, a very short time.  Disclaimer: Hygien Venezia does not know me and I have no interest in being known by them.  Just providing information here.

This is a simple tale composed of two parts.  (A) What we need and (B) how hard it can be to obtain it because of (C) (my error, the tale has three parts) other people.  To demonstrate I take the situation of the new experimental temporary chemical toilet (A) near the Arsenal and (C) the city of Venice, some city councillors of.

People need places to relieve themselves, we’ll start there.  On the whole, visitors manage the situation by stopping at bars/cafe’s, buying something, and using the facilities.  But sometimes bars/cafe’s are closed.  Sometimes they are crowded.  Sometimes the WC is mysteriously out of service.  And sometimes the owners have to crack down on tourists who show up in groups of which one person buys a coffee and all the rest use the bathroom, as we call it in the US.  Not made up.  So one person is relieved, so to speak, and his or her nine friends have to start looking for a toilet somewhere else, or buy a coffee, which is clearly something they were hoping to avoid.

Impatient and drunk males at big gatherings at night have no problem at all:  Find the nearest wall.  Vertical structures exert an atavistic allure to men.  Ladies, you’re on your own, as usual.  But there are small side streets — I’m thinking of offshoots of Campo Santa Margherita — whose residents have been driven to install a gate to prevent revelers from using the street to resolve the situation.

Yes, this conveniently dark passageway was a public toilet, according to the public. Perfect, until the repulsed residents fought back with the gate.

At night these side streets seemed perfect for personal usage; I mean, nobody was using them to go anywhere. Except home, as it turned out.  Dog poop is bad enough, but good grief, people.  Note that there is a canal only a few steps farther along.  Just, you know, saying.
Before there were gates there were these, possibly the first attempt at a public deterrent.  A closer look at the lower area where the walls meet gives an idea of why this construction was installed.  Useful, but only up to a point. My theory is that anyone who was sufficiently far gone wouldn’t mind (or notice) his shoes getting wet. There are many of these around (I don’t know who thought them up, or paid for them).
You might have thought that the little shrine (“capitello”) to Saint Anthony of Padua might have given the person in need the idea to find another corner. Evidently not.
But why are we talking about deterrents? Let’s get back to options for aiding those in need. There used to be plenty of pissoirs in Venice, or vespasiani, in Italian.  The etymology of the name is simple: The Roman emperor Vespasian placed a tax on urine collection because the liquid’s ammonia was necessary for several activities, such as leather tanning.  The Venetian vespasians  were usually near an osteria, places where wine consumption carried consequences. This wall near the church of San Sebastiano bears its scars proudly.
Needs no explanation, it all seems pretty simple to me.
The vestigial water pipe.  Typically the wall here was covered by a marble slab (more resistant than brick, by far) down which a stream of water constantly ran, and out the drain.
This is the little street leading to Lino’s family home (visible at the far end).  The curve accommodated a vespasiano that was concealed by a slim wall open at both ends, hence no door, hence always available.  Nobody thought anything of walking past its perfume a thousand times a day.  Most osterias didn’t have their own toilets, so the public went in public.  Unhappily for Lino’s oldest brother, his apartment was just above an osteria that did have a primitive toilet.  Great for the customers, not great for the brother.  He and his wife got used to it?  Only up to a point.  They kept the overlooking window closed.  Especially in summer.
A small street flanking the Lutheran church at the Campo Santi Apostoli.  On the wall supporting the abandoned mattress there are signs of the vespasiano that was. Lino remembers it, so we’re not talking about ancient history.
Maybe when you get bored with looking at palaces you could start looking for the remnants of these once-useful things. I mean the vespasiano, not the mattress.  By the way, if people were cool with pissoirs all over town, what’s so bad about kiosks?
I’m referring to kiosks that look like the one by Hygien Venezia down by the Arsenal.  You notice it has been designed to be accessible to people in wheelchairs. (There’s also a ramp at the door.)  Electricity is supplied by a battery maintained by solar panels.

But the choice is not kiosks or nothing.  There are permanent public loos in Venice.  But there aren’t very many, their hours vary WIDELY — 8:00 AM to 8:30 PM is rational, so is 9:00 AM to 9:00 PM, but 11:00 AM to 4:30 PM or 10 AM – 7:30 PM is not. And they aren’t always open.  The WC by the Piazza San Marco is scheduled to open at 9:30 AM, and when I passed by at a very reasonable 10:45 AM it was shut up tight.  These hours undoubtedly reflect the convenience of the staff, and not the public.  Or whether the Comune has paid the water bill?

In an attractive gesture of collaboration, the city has an app to guide you to the nearest public toilet.  Perhaps it will be open, perhaps not, but at least you can say you found it.

A map of the not exactly numerous public toilets.  I count ten here — none on the Giudecca, for unknown reasons, but the one at the cemetery is helpful.  The ones strewn about the Maritime Zone are for the non-existent cruise passengers, so ignore them.  But again — pardon my diatribe — there is no reason to publish such a cheerful and encouraging map if the public can’t be sure the loo will be open when it’s needed.   The other day a friend of mine was in severe need on Sant’ Elena and both of the only two bars were closed.  The doors of the so-cheerfully indicated city toilet were locked.  This is not a happy memory.  But as I say, it does look nice on the map.
The public WC at the foot of the Accademia Bridge. This is what a self-respecting public toilet should look like.  Its most impressive feature?  It’s open.
They’re doing work these days, heavy work with tools. I just hope you weren’t counting on using this facility. Zwingle’s Fifth Law: Do not count on things.
A curious sub-class of public toilets are Those That Were (and I don’t mean vespasiani).  This building on the northwest corner of Campo San Polo was a public loo until some not-distant time in the past.  Lino remembers it well, and it had the advantage of being in an extremely busy point of the city.  So it could have been highly useful.  But as you see, the need for the sketchy Euronet cash machines was greater.  Sorry, I shouldn’t say “sketchy.”  But I can say this: Independent cash providers such as Travelex, Euronet, Moneybox, Your Cash, Cardpoint, and Cashzone have high fees, higher than a bank ATM.  Example: 15 euros on a 200-euro withdrawal. There are probably ten times more Euronet ATM’s than public toilets in Venice now.  Priorities!
Back to the toilets. Once you know what this place used to be, you can easily make it out. Those high windows somehow give it away.

I decided to experiment and went looking for one of the city’s toilets last Saturday afternoon around 5:00 PM.  I was near the Arsenal, and wondered where the large sign indicating a nearby loo might lead me.  I didn’t need it, and what a good thing that turned out to be.

This very narrow and slightly ominous street is marked as the route to salvation. The Calle del Cagnoleto is right by the area on the Riva degli Schiavoni where the day-tripping tourist launches load and unload their passengers, so it would seem to be an ideal place for a rest stop, as we say in the US.
Yes, that happy arrow up there points toward relief. Take heart and forge ahead!
Wow. Well okay, on we go.
The street passes in front of the green doors (I was walking from right to left). You are looking for what transit engineers call “confirming signs.” But instead of repeating the sign you are familiar with, there is only a rectangle of stone saying “Alle Docce” (you frantically check for translation and find “To the showers.”  Showers?  Who wants showers?).  There used to be an arrow, but any help that might have provided is long gone.
A few more steps onward and there is a small sign that gives you hope.
And the street opens up and you discover you have reached the “Comune di Venezia Docce Pubbliche.”  City of Venice Public Showers.  We’re looking for WC and we get docce (DAW-cheh).
Let us imagine that at this point I am now beginning to feel that this experience is less a trial run and more of a real run. Now what?
The Public Showers also include, as one has been supposing, public toilets. The green arrow on the front door, on the left, has pointed toward the right, so the entrance is one of those two doors. But I’ll never know, because as you see, the place was closed up tighter than a can of tuna. Five o’clock on Saturday afternoon.  It’s the end of the road, and your choice now, as there are no bars in sight, is to turn around and hope to find a Plan B before crisis strikes, or figure out how to use the canal a few steps away.  As to the showers, they are maintained by the Diocese of Venice to accommodate anyone who is without that option, either temporarily or permanently, and clean clothes are also available.  This is praiseworthy and I have nothing but respect for this service.  But about the WC……
But you can leave with the knowledge that, according to this very edifying sign, the areas that you cannot use at your moment of off-schedule need are paragons of ecologically sound cleanliness.  I notice that hours are not even scribbled on a Post-It note. You know, it’s easy to inveigh against tourists, but I would recommend that one remember that tourists are also people.  And this little five-minute exploration has not only disappointed and discouraged me but also seems ever so slightly insulting.  “Fine, we’ll let you use our toilets, but only when it suits us.”  Solution?  There ought to be many, but the simplest would be the mere addition of the opening hours to the sign at the entrance to the street — the sign that lured me hopefully onward.  That way, at least nobody with an important problem will waste precious time heading toward locked doors.  I suggest this minimum concession if you’re not going to keep the facility open while the sun is still shining and there are plenty of tourists still around.

So to review:  The options for needy travelers are: Resort to one of the numberless bars/cafes, when available either geographically or according to time of day; or public toilet, when available either geographically or according to time of day.  Or wall.  Or canal.

Let’s return to the kiosk.  The Comune opened the public-toilet project for bids in 2019, with a budget of 5 million euros, and only one company submitted a proposal. Hygien Venezia was prepared to proceed, then the pandemic intervened.  So now, three years later, the company has finally installed its creation for a two-week trial.  Then all the reports and analyses and opinions and pros and cons will be thrown into a box and shaken (I’m making that up), and some decision will be made on installing the 20 more that the company is ready to place strategically around town.

Don’t assume that decision will inevitably be in the positive.  This being Venice, some people have complained.  From shops and hotels and other enterprises, some people have objected.  The Nuova Venezia only referred to the protesters as “the categories.”  What category?  The Worshipful Company of Environmental Cleaners? (It exists, but not in Italy.)

Whatever the “categories” might be, eight city councilors have spoken up, expressing a desire to inquire of the mayor “on the basis of what information is it considered that Venice possessed the characteristics to manage the cleaning (removal of waste) of 28 chemical toilets.” It occurs to me that Hygien Venezia probably has foreseen the problem and the solution, and described the plan on the bid itself.  I’ll bet that they will be able to provide answers as needed, without bothering the mayor.

Perhaps the NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) phenomenon has arrived in Venice.  There may well be those who do not wish to see one of these kiosks near their homes or places of business.  I will grant you that the general lack of space here means that there is a risk that a new structure, however modest, could make the immediate area even more  crowded.  However, there are also campos and fondamentas that can boast of space.  But let’s not quibble.  Essentially, there seems to be an innate propensity to assume something new won’t work rather than consider ways in which in might perhaps be configured to work.

There is bound to be space for one of these kiosks at Campo Santa Margherita without jostling anybody too far to the side.
I’m going to ask the people who live here how they’d feel about having the kiosk in the campo.

In my view, this is another of the many situations in which Venice’s perplexity as to how to manage the city comes to the fore. Lots of real cities have public toilets in the streets.  Paris comes to mind, obviously — if there’s a city with bars/cafe’s at every turn, that would be Paris, and yet there are 420 cubicles on the streets of  the City of Light, used 3 million times a year.  I grant that Parisian streets tend to be more spacious than your average calle.  But the port of Piraeus has concise public toilets, as do Madrid, and Oslo, and Berlin, and so on.  Or at the very least, reorganize the public toilets in Venice with rational hours and doors that can be opened.

“The categories” want tourists, and then people grumble at how demanding those tourists can be. It seems to me that Venice might occasionally consider dismounting from its high horse on certain issues.  Give the horse a rest.

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