pineapple postscript

You may recall my bulletin from the neighborhood cafe about the unknown-person-or-persons, as the police would say, who left a pineapple in the cafe’s  bathroom.

Buying a fresh pineapple (not cheap, hence a person with a little extra cash) with the intention of leaving it behind (disturbingly antisocial) — or just to have the rush of buying it (a person easy to entertain) — or even someone who has lost track of how forgetful or easy to distract (“Squirrel!!”) he or she has become, the episode maintains its prominence on my list of recent curiosities.

But it does indeed get better.

After talking with the cafe owner, the portrait of the unidentified perpetrator muddies and  darkens.

Because not only did the person/s leave the pineapple, he and/or she tried to flush it down the toilet.

Let’s pause while we all picture that.

So now we have a person (I’m presuming it wasn’t a dog or an iguana or battalion of fruit flies) who is malicious and/or also slightly estranged from the world we label as real.

Of course, this was a windfall for one of the local plumbers, who had to come in and, I believe she said, break the toilet in order to free it.   (The plumber had to come in?   Oh wait a minute…… ).

The trail is now cold and the identity of this pineapple-wielding misfit (“Did anyone have a grudge against you, Manuela?”) may never be known.   This annoys me even more than the blocked plumbing.

Trying to flush a pineapple down  a toilet.   Is some kid, or kid-like adult, trying to imitate some irresistible television ad, a kid perhaps unable to have read the fine print saying “This pineapple-wielding misfit is a professional.   Do not try this at home”?

Naturally I will be posting updates, if there are any.