Archive for May, 2010


Bring flowers, wear a helmet

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In a city full of special news comes something even more special than usual.  

The columbarium at the municipal cemetery on the island of San Michele  is aging and deteriorating faster than some of its past and future residents.   This means that the dear departed are not resting in much peace anymore, and they’re not going to let you be  feel too serene either.

Today the Gazzettino  announced:  “If you want to go put some flowers on your loved one’s tomb, you have to wear a helmet.”  

1x1.trans Bring flowers, wear a helmet

Grieving relative takes cover. (Credit: Il Gazzettino).


Yes, lack of money (“no ghe xe schei“) has brought us to this: A cemetery where you have to protect yourself from your relatives even after they’re dead.   Three hundred final resting places have become public hazards.

I can hear the helpful advice now, as you set out with your little bunch of chrysanthemums:

“If you’re going to visit Uncle Max today, watch out — he could be throwing  bits of rock and cement  at your head.”  

“He never liked me very much….. “

Veritas, the private agency that oversees the cemetery (and, let it be noted yet again, also  disposes of Venetian garbage), says that the necessary funds for repairing the cemetery have been allocated by the Special Fund (money being  spent on something that isn’t part of the MOSE floodgate project?   Astounding) — but that the money hasn’t been freed-up yet.  

“Dig we must.”   It takes on new resonance when the guys are drilling and backhoeing around your family.   So meanwhile, wear your hard hat.   And try to ignore the fact that the stuff that keeps falling on your head will probably not be raindrops.   It could be cousin Lola.

Categories : Problems, Venetian-ness
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Last Sunday (May 16) Venice pulled what was once one of its greatest festivals out of storage for its annual exhibition: Ascension Day, or “la Sensa.”  

1x1.trans Venice marries the sea: the bride was lovely

The boat procession, having passed the Naval College, moves along the Lido shoreline toward the church of San Nicolo' and the ceremony of the blessing of the ring.

Up until  the year 1000 A.D., if you’ll cast your minds back, the fortieth day after Easter had been primarily known as the commemoration of Christ’s ascension   to heaven.   It still is, but  at the turn of the millennium the day took on large quantities of extra importance for Venice.  

The day also became just as famous for the “Sposalizio del mare,” or wedding of the sea, a ceremony performed by  the doge and Senate  in the company of many boats of all sorts which all proceeded toward the inlet to the sea at San Nicolo’ on the Lido.    At the culminating moment,   the doge tossed a golden ring into the lagoon waters and intoned, “Desponsamus te, Mare, in signum veri perpetique dominii.”   (“I wed thee, O Sea, in sign of perpetual dominion.”)

1x1.trans Venice marries the sea: the bride was lovely

The "Serenissima" pulls up to the judges' stand to put the doge -- I mean mayor -- and retinue ashore.

This statement had nothing to do with religion, even though it does sound  impressive in Latin, right up there with “till death us do part.”   It had  much more to do with politics, because on Ascension Day in the year 1000 (May 9, if you’re interested), doge Pietro I  Orseolo  finally quashed the Slavic pirates who, from their eastern Adriatic lairs,  had been harassing Venetian shipping and seriously inconveniencing Venetian progress.

This was a pivotal moment in Venetian history; it opened the way to centuries of expansion, wealth and power, and the Venetians  wanted to make sure that all their assorted neighbors and trading partners and possibly also  trading competitors remembered  what they had done and could do again, if necessary.

For another thing, beginning in 1180 one of the largest commercial fairs of the entire year was held during the Ascension Day period.   Merchants and traders from all over the Mediterranean and beyond set up booths in the Piazza San Marco to sell ivory, incense, ebony, oils of jasmine and sandalwood and bergamot,   pomegranate soap, tortoiseshell   back-scratchers, bath salts, mirrors inlaid with mother-of-pearl, dried figs and apricots, plant-based hair dyes, luxurious textiles, and even Abyssinian and Circassian and sub-Saharan slaves.   All this was traded in languages and dialects from Venetian to Armenian, Hebrew, Uzbek, Greek, Turkish, German, Georgian, Iberian, Arabic, French and Persian.   I’m sure I’ve left something out.     This fair was such a big deal that soon it was extended from eight days to  two weeks.   Yes, even back then the city was just one big emporium, though incense strikes me as being cooler than the bargain Carnival masks made in China bestrewing the shops  today.

1x1.trans Venice marries the sea: the bride was lovely

A flea market by the church of San Nicolo' is the best we can do at evoking the fabulous market of yore.

I don’t suppose that the average Venetian on the street would have told you  much of the above if you’d stopped to ask what the big deal was about  the Sensa.   But a smallish contingent of people  have applied themselves, since the early Nineties, to bringing back at least some ceremonial in order to acknowledge the moment  .

1x1.trans Venice marries the sea: the bride was lovely

Need a lampshade with a portrait of Audrey Hepburn or Charlie Chaplin? Now's your chance.

1x1.trans Venice marries the sea: the bride was lovely

I wonder if any merchants from the old days would have been tempted by these.

So yesterday morning there was a boat procession, more or less following the “Serenissima,” the  biggest and fanciest of the city’s ceremonial barges which was carrying the mayor (best we could do, seeing as we’re dogeless these days) and  costumed trumpeters and a batch of military and civilian dignitaries and also a priest.  

At the  Morosini naval college at Sant’ Elena, all the cadets were ready and waiting, lined up along the embankment.     Standing crisply at attention with their hats in their right hand, on command they raised their hat-holding arm straight out at a sharp 45-degree angle, and shouted with one voice “OO-rah.”   They did this three times in succession, then there was a pause.   Then they did it again.    They do this at intervals till the boats have all passed.  

For my money, this is the best part of the event, much better than the ring-and-sea business.   In fact, I’m convinced that if the cadets were not to do this, it would ruin the entire day.

1x1.trans Venice marries the sea: the bride was lovely

The boats surround the "Serenissima" as the declamation(s) proceed.

The boats then proceed to the area in front of the church of San Nicolo’ on the Lido, where they clump together, the priest blesses the ring, and the mayor throws it into the water.   One year our boat was close enough that I took somebody’s dare and actually managed to snag it before it sank (all the ribbons tied to it momentarily helped it to float).     Then I had a heavy surge of superstitious guilt.   Even if it wasn’t gold — it was kind of like what you’d use to hang a heavy curtain — it was a symbolic object fraught with meaning.   I wondered if I’d just  blighted Venice’s mojo for another year.   But I didn’t throw it back — that seemed even stupider than grabbing it in the first place.   So, you know, my disrespect just left another  ding on the chrome trim of my conscience.

1x1.trans Venice marries the sea: the bride was lovely

The first three gondolas, battling it out in the back stretch.

Then there is a boat race — in this case, a race  for gondolas rowed by four men each.   In Venice the celebration of really important events always involved a regata, and when this festival began to take form, Lino created this one.   Yesterday the competition was somewhat more dramatic than usual in that  a strong garbin, or southwest wind, was blowing, and it was also really cold.   Lots of big irritated waves.   Strong incoming tide.   All elements that do not conduce to easy victory or friendly handshakes afterward, not that these guys are ever inclined to that sort of thing.   But it made for a very exciting 40 minutes — better than usual, if you could stand the cold.  

1x1.trans Venice marries the sea: the bride was lovely

Heading into the home stretch, they held onto third place, well ahead of their closest competitors.

So much for the festivities, so much for the wedding of the sea.   No honeymoon, though.   We just move  on to another 12 months of trying to dominate the sea.   Not with galleys anymore; Venice seems to be doing a pretty good job with  the ever-increasing  flotilla of  cruise ships.

Categories : Boatworld, Events, History, Water
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pineapple postscript

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You may recall my bulletin from the neighborhood cafe about the unknown-person-or-persons, as the police would say, who left a pineapple in the cafe’s  bathroom.

Buying a fresh pineapple (not cheap, hence a person with a little extra cash) with the intention of leaving it behind (disturbingly antisocial) — or just to have the rush of buying it (a person easy to entertain) — or even someone who has lost track of how forgetful or easy to distract (“Squirrel!!”) he or she has become, the episode maintains its prominence on my list of recent curiosities.

But it does indeed get better.

After talking with the cafe owner, the portrait of the unidentified perpetrator muddies and  darkens.

Because not only did the person/s leave the pineapple, he and/or she tried to flush it down the toilet.

Let’s pause while we all picture that.

So now we have a person (I’m presuming it wasn’t a dog or an iguana or battalion of fruit flies) who is malicious and/or also slightly estranged from the world we label as real.

Of course, this was a windfall for one of the local plumbers, who had to come in and, I believe she said, break the toilet in order to free it.   (The plumber had to come in?   Oh wait a minute…… ).

The trail is now cold and the identity of this pineapple-wielding misfit (“Did anyone have a grudge against you, Manuela?”) may never be known.   This annoys me even more than the blocked plumbing.

Trying to flush a pineapple down  a toilet.   Is some kid, or kid-like adult, trying to imitate some irresistible television ad, a kid perhaps unable to have read the fine print saying “This pineapple-wielding misfit is a professional.   Do not try this at home”?

Naturally I will be posting updates, if there are any.

1x1.trans pineapple postscript

I'm not supposing the same person left this panel of plastic-covered glued sawdust on our bridge. Just wanted to illustrate the dark urges that drive a certain sort of person in our part of the world. You find yourself with an inconvenient object? Just put it down. There.

1x1.trans pineapple postscript
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